3 Ways to Find Yourself (even if you’ve been lost for years)
This was the text I got early one morning back in January. You better believe, after a text like that, I called her right away.
I’m not going to share the private details but the gist of the conversation was that before the holidays she left her job after 20+ years and she found herself in a funk that had slipped into what she described as really hard days filled with crying, being unable to sleep and finding herself in the same PJs for 3 days in a row.
The PJ situation is what prompted her to finally reach out.
My friend was looking forward to leaving her job, but she was gobsmacked by how no longer having a routine, title or a leadership role made her question everything about her life.
I can’t tell you how many women find themselves in the same situation. Somehow they’ve lost their sense of who they are because they’ve tied identity to their job. When something changes with the job, they don’t know who they are and it’s like stepping into a freefall abyss.
Other times women will come to us because they want to start something new… a new career, a new business, but they find themselves unable to move forward because they are lost unsure of what they really want next.
If you find yourself lost and desperately trying to find yourself again try these three steps.
#1. Inflate + Deflate. Make a list of all the things you do in your job and in your life. Next, go through your list and consider what inflates you or deflates you. Don’t make a federal case out of each item on your list. Go with the intuitive feeling you get of either yay or no way.
#2. Go Back Girl. Go back to when you were little and make a list of all the things you loved to do. I used to spend hours, I mean hours, blissfully making “lesson plans” for all the kids in the neighborhood. I loved to play school, much to my unwilling “students’ chagrin. But it makes sense… today I love to put together content that I can teach others.
#3. Make the Connection. Take a look at your inflate list and the things you loved to do as a kid and see where you can bring these skills into your current day-to-day.
You will most likely be pleasantly surprised by the findings of these 3 steps and the result will give you some purpose and structure as you start to find your way back to yourself.
I recommended my friend try these three steps too. Recently I met her for lunch and I’m happy to report she was not wearing her PJs. She told me while she’s still trying to figure things out, she’s feeling much more motivated and connected to herself.
She remembered how much she loved helping her grandma in the garden, so on a whim, she signed up for a virtual floral design class and loves it. She doesn’t plan to become a florist any time soon, but while she’s using her creativity as a way to find her way back to herself.
We can’t wait to hear what you find when you rediscover your own personal identity. If you’re struggling to figure out your identity, email us and let’s set up a time to talk about how we can help.
